Not finding joy in every stressful, tiring, routine, and difficult moment of your children’s lives? It could be that you haven’t entered the ‘window of enjoyment’ yet—or you’ve already moved past it. One mother gained attention for her perspective on the most rewarding years of parenting, offering a heartfelt reminder to cherish every moment before it disappears in the blink of an eye.
“There’s a single opportunity for fun with children,” mom Nicole Collings (@nicoleisthisme) said.on TikTok, per Newsweek. This ideal period occurs between the ages of 5 and 11.
“The infancy stage? Difficult—cute, but challenging,” she mentioned in the video. “Once they start moving around—unmanageable. Especially if you have more than one,” Collings, who previously had three children under the age of 2 now aged 13 and 15, added.
But as they mature (justa little bit!), things begin to improve. “3 they start to become a bit easier, but 4 and 5 is when it starts to get better” and parents can “see the light at the end of the tunnel. It continues until they reach their teenage years.”
“Out of nowhere, when they hit 11 or 12, the magic disappears,” Collings said. “Father Christmas is gone, the tooth fairy is gone. Disney? Don’t even think about it. All the magic from their childhood vanishes like that,” she said, snapping her fingers.
“All those adorable outings you used to enjoy at theme parks, the farm, the park, and picnics? They’re gone. Forget about them. Completely gone. Now it’s replaced with being a constant taxi driver and an ATM machine,” Collings continued.
You are no longer the fun mom who sets up tents and watches Disney films with your children; instead, you are “a total embarrassment” who “can’t be seen in public,” according to your kids.
As a mother to two children in that wonderful stage of life (and one who will soon catch up to his older siblings!), this perspective is truly frightening to me. I can’t even picture a world where my kids stop hugging me goodnight, asking for an extra story, or begging me to take them to see the newest movie in theaters. I cherish the time I spend with my kids—but I’m also very relieved that they’ve returned to school, and I don’t have to keep them entertained every single moment of the day.
Am I feeling guilty fornot enjoying more momentsWith my children? Yes, absolutely. What mother doesn’t sometimes feel like she’s not doing enough or spending enough quality time with them? However, I’m still dealing with a 3-year-old, a 6-year-old, and a 7-year-old. They require my attention all the time—and the constant fighting, yelling, and complaining can be really tiring. Being a parent is physically demanding and mentally challenging, and I shouldn’t feel guilty about appreciating and needing some time alone.
Nevertheless, I truly enjoy seeing them eagerly discussing their Halloween outfits and the enchantment of Christmas, as well as how thrilled they become over simple pleasures like ice cream cones after school or treat bags at birthday celebrations. It’s genuinely amazing, and I will make every effort to cherish each moment (including the challenging ones). I realize there will come a time when my home isn’t filled with toys, and I won’t hear the sound of footsteps racing down the hallway at 6 a.m.
Collings discussed her concept of a “window of enjoyment” with Newsweek, explaining how she came up with the idea one day while they were going through the kitchen and talking on FaceTime. “I realized how much had changed compared to when they were younger,” she said to the publication. “It made me think back to those wonderful early years.”
I used to go all out for Christmas, Easter, and Halloween, turning our house into a magical place,” she said. “Watching my kids’ faces light up with joy was very fulfilling. … They started to pay less attention to family events and became more interested in their friends. The bedtime stories and warm movie nights disappeared, and I felt like the magic was slipping away.
Don’t try to ignore it,” she said. “Accept the disorder of toys and a disorganized home, because soon enough, those toys will be replaced by iPads and iPhones, and you might start longing for the sounds and chaos.
Other mothers can understand. One mother responded to Collings’ video, “Children aged 5-10 are amazing. They can walk for long distances by themselves. They no longer require a large diaper bag full of items. And they are open to doing anything.”
“I’m crying while listening to this, why does it have to end,” someone else wrote. Another person commented, “My sons are 8 and 9, and they’re amazing. This is making me scared.” (Believe me, I feel just as emotional and frightened as you do!)
You’ve accurately described it, my oldest is 13,” another person wrote. “We’re on vacation right now and have been constantly called uncool, embarrassing, and told this is the worst holiday ever.
Some people also mentioned something to anticipate: “I agree, and at age 23, they become your friend.” Keep that in mind for days when you need a bit more optimism!
Of course, mothers can appreciate their children more when they have supportive partners who make sure theyactually get a breakfrom parental responsibilities. Because although it’s good to keep in mind the joy of this phase of life, it’s not beneficial to add more stress andmom guilt. Even though the internet may suggest otherwise, no one experiences motherhood completely happily all the time. The key point is to seek out enjoyable moments amidst the chaos with your children, regardless of their age, since everything passes very quickly.
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