Linda Scelza knew what would happen when she told her son, Ryder, it was “OK to go.”
Ryder Scelza took two more breaths and then died in his her arms, she said.
He was 21.
Ryder Scelza, of Rocky Hill, suffered from glioblastoma, a disease that started his fight to live in March 2022, and led to multiple surgeries, until the tumors were no longer operable.
Linda Scelza said her son was placed late last year in a medically induced coma for a time and when he came out of that coma he was no longer able to communicate. After he spent about four months at Cobalt Healthcare and Rehabilitation Center, Ryder came home early this year and was cared for around the clock by her, and his twin brother, Reno, Linda Scelza said.
“He could not communicate anymore after Christmas,” Scelza said. “He could occasionally laugh, smile and listen to his Taylor Swift.”
Even as the mother faces the loss of her beloved son, joined in grief by an extended family, Linda Scelza noted that through her son’s fight, “Taylor Swift got him through anything.”
Hearing the music would make him visibly relax, she said. While the family had hoped Swift would contact Ryder during his fight to live, that never occurred, the mom said. But that music still buoyed him, she said.
“This boy, he fought, he beat every odd there was to beat with the kind of brain cancer he had. He fought and fought,” Linda Scelza said. “I told him it was OK to go … I knew the moment I told him. He took two more breaths.”
“I promised him I would be OK,” she said. “He was scared for me … his fight was for me.”
Linda Scelza said said she told Ryder he would be fine in heaven and “until I got to him again he could be with my mom and my dad.” She said she knew Ryder was aware of how it hit her when her own dad died, as she still misses him every day.
Ryder’s sister, Alyssa Scelza, said, “I was really glad to be there when my mom told him that … I do believe he heard her and it gave him the comfort to let go.”
Linda Scelza said while Ryder “fought and fought and fought and fought,” she thought that the “way he looked at me, he was waiting for me to tell him it was OK.” She said she slept in the bed with him every night and held her hand over his heart.
“He’s a hero; he wanted everybody to know there is more of a fight to this disease. The tumors kept coming back in his brain and my son was a true miracle, a true fighter.”
She said about the future fight against glioblastoma, “there are so many things they don’t know,” and he fought it for 40 months.
“He will always be remembered for being a fighter … he was my little brother,” Alyssa Scelza said. “What he did was for everyone else … the reason he did anything was for love.”
Linda Scelza has not worked in almost four years while she cared for Ryder. Reno, while an identical twin, has been tested, and shows no evidence of glioblastoma, she said.
Alfred Scelza, who is a cousin to Linda Scelza’s children, said his aunt stood by his (Ryder’s) side 24/7, and created an office in her garage dedicated to studying this disease.
Alfred Scelza noted Ryder penned letters to everyone about his final wishes, including that butterflies be released at his funeral, and a horse and carriage carry the casket. He said Ryder had a big love for Disney, and asked for an empty seat next to mom, and to have women pallbearers.
He said it was Ryder’s wish for them “to go on, to move on, to make sure we live our lives to the fullest capacity and we fight … fearless.” He said his cousin loved his cats, which stayed by his side, purring and giving comfort: Paris, August and Romeo.
About what Ryder might tell people about his fight, Linda Scelza chuckled slightly and said he would say, “Get my mother to advocate for you.”
“If you need something, call Linda,” she said Ryder would say.
Ryder’s message, his family said, was, “never give up.”
Linda Scelza previously explained Ryder’s love for Swift, as “It’s just her as a whole, her attitude … the music she writes,” “If there is even a chance she would pick up the phone …”
The mom said Ryder is such a Swift fan that his first tattoo was the words, “long story short; I survived,” from the lyrics of one of her songs.
Joy Savulak, a spokesperson for Gaylord Specialty Healthcare, where Ryder also spent time, said speech therapist Stefanie Gaidos had used Swift’s music to motivate Ryder.
“During his time at Gaylord Hospital, Ryder touched the lives of every person who had the privilege of meeting him,” Gaylord said in an email. “He quickly became part of our Gaylord family, and his care team left no effort untried in supporting him and exploring every possibility to help bring his dreams to life. We will always remember his strength, determination, and his amazing, infectious smile. Our thoughts are with Linda and his family at this difficult time.”
“Ryder will be remembered for his courage, his selflessness and his ability to make others feel valued and loved. His absence leaves a void that can never be filled, but his spirit will live on in the hearts of all who knew him,” his obituary says.
About some of his battle, Linda has said, they were told after surgery in July 2022, that the cancer came back in the same spot, was inoperable and that Ryder had just weeks to live. They have had more than 50 emergency room visits, Ryder has been in the hospital at least 30 times, and the cancer, in a “very rare” occurrence, then returned both on the right and left side of Ryder’s brain, Scelza has said, but he kept fighting.
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