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Christine Rousseau discovered the hard way that pharmacies in Paris donotalways sell diapers. She had run out while away on vacation, and her 2-year-old son urgently needed to be put down for a nap. So in the rain, wearing high heels, with time running out toward a messy and unavoidable deadline, she jumped on an electric rental scooter that she didn’t know how to operate. Every place she tried had expensive face creams but no diapers. She didn’t know the French term to request them. This scenario was nottrès chic—but then, family vacations aren’t usually.
Some might say the purpose of a vacation is to reduce, not increase, stress. However, like many parents with young children, Rousseau is dedicated to traveling with her family—not just for herself and her husband, but also for the benefit of her children, who are 7 and 3 years old. She enjoys watching them learn, and traveling offers plenty of chances for that. In Paris, when the streets appeared to be free of toddlers, she was able to explain that many young children there attendcrèchesor state-subsidized childcare. In London, her son asked why the streets were so much cleaner than those back home in Brooklyn, which led to a lesson on civic responsibility and municipal funding. Getting her children out of their comfort zone, she said, “it helps them realize that their way of life may not be everyone’s reality.”
Rousseau, similar to the majority of parents with young children nowadays, is aMillennialpart of a generation renowned for its passion for exploration and its inclination towardsspend a loton it. This group grew up as air travel became more available and buying a home became more difficult. Instead of seeking stability, many Millennials began valuing experiences; traveling was no longer just a luxury but a way to find purpose and define themselves. One 2024 Vox MediapollIt was found that 76 percent of the Zoomers and Millennials surveyed believed that travel reflects “a lot about who they are”; 88 percent mentioned that it has encouraged their personal development. “For earlier generations, travel was a sign of status,” Jennie Germann Molz, a sociologist from the College of the Holy Cross, told me. “For the Millennial generation, it’s more focused on self-improvement or achieving one’s potential.”
As an increasing number of Millennials start families, many are committed to instilling those travel-loving values—sharing the excitement of exploring while shaping their children into flexible and knowledgeable individuals. At times, they are spending money they can’t afford; often, they are giving up peace and calm that they might already lack. In the age of intensive parenting, vacation has become something that many parents themselves need a break from.from.
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For many generations, parents have wanted to expose their children to more of the world—and, in doing so, to strengthen family bonds, Susan Rugh, a historian from Brigham Young University and the author ofAre We There Yet? The Peak Era of American Family Getaways, she mentioned. Naturally, traveling as a group has always been somewhat disorganized. When she was young, her parents took her and her six brothers and sisters on road trips—and during that time, highway rest areas were uncommon. They had to bring all the food they would need for the entire journey. However, the hassle was somewhat the intention: Your family functioned as a team, facing challenges on a common adventure. “Even if there’s a lot of stress,” she said, “it’s a memory of being together”—experiencing stress together, in fact.
Today’s young parents, however, could be elevating that tradition to a new extent. One 2018 AAApolldiscovered that 44 percent of American Millennials who were surveyed intended to take a family trip—more than Gen Xers, who typically have older children and more financial means. The pandemic temporarily reduced this travel, but not for an extended period. A 2022 Family Travel Association reportsurveyIt was found that 85 percent of parents indicated they are very likely to travel with their children in the next 12 months—reflecting a desire to emerge from isolation and embrace life to the fullest, according to Heike Schänzel, a tourism professor at the Auckland University of Technology. She mentioned that the increase in remote work has also encouraged more relaxed travel plans even when children are present. Additionally, the FTA survey revealed that 76 percent of participants wished to travel internationally with their children. Parents are not simply loading their kids into the car for a short trip to Grandma’s house. Instead, they are spending thousands of dollars to take crying infants on a nine-hour flight; shipping a 25-pound stroller across an ocean; and taking children to exciting restaurants serving unfamiliar food only to discover that the children still prefer dinosaur chicken nuggets.
That challenge, for many parents, seems worthwhile. Even vacations are no longer exempt from what the sociologist Annette Lareau, in her 2003 bookUnequal Childhoods, refers to “concerted cultivation”: parents’ efforts to influence their child’s growth and prepare them for future achievement. These actions are central to intensive parenting, a approach that became popular among the American middle class in themid-to-late 20th century; inequality was increasing, manufacturing jobs were vanishing, and parents began to fear that their children might never achieve financial security—without their close and ongoing involvement. Now, a similar sense of uncertainty is prompting many parents to send their children overseas, said Germann Molz, a sociologist from Holy Cross. For her bookThe World Is Our Classroom: Unconventional Parenting and the Emergence of WorldschoolingShe spoke with individuals who homeschool their children while traveling, the concept being that these children can gain more knowledge through exploration than they would from traditional textbooks. This represents a vivid example of a widely held viewpoint: “Who can predict what the job market will be like?” Molz explained, summarizing their perspective. “Who can say where we’ll stand regarding the environment?” She mentioned that these parents hope, if the children are well-traveled, “they will be able to handle change. They will be able to interact with people from completely different backgrounds. They will possess the ability to move and travel effortlessly.”
The contemporary family vacation is increasingly ambitious and purpose-driven—something Duncan Greenfield-Turk, the CEO of a specialized travel agency, mentioned to me that he has noticed more frequently. Recently, a pair of his Millennial clients took their two children, aged 9 and 11, on a trip to southern Africa centered around “humanitarian awareness”; the aim was for the kids to learn how the lodges they stayed in were integrated into the local economy. Another family brought their children to Okinawa, Japan, to encourage them to reflect on the effects of American influence and imperialism. According to him, for many parents, the “goal is clearly to foster a sense of connection with the wider world.”
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Traveling can greatly benefit children. Kids gain from a variety of new experiences: unfamiliar sights, sounds, and methods of entertainment. Exposure to different cultures and traditions can help develop empathy and emotional growth. When challenges arise—like a flight being delayed or an Airbnb code not functioning—children can learn adaptability, confidence, and tolerance. Additionally, research indicates that breaks often lead tostrengthenrelationships between family members and help create a feeling offamily cohesion. If the children are mature enough, Daniel Weisberg, a child psychologist based in the United Kingdom, mentioned to me, they often create enduring memories during family vacations. A simple, everyday moment can act as a “psychological anchor of positivity” for many years: a symbol of past joy and bonding that someone can recall during more challenging times.
Family getaways can create wonderful memories for adults as well, even if those trips include more messy diapers than relaxing beach drinks. Rousseau shared that some of her favorite travel experiences involved activities she wouldn’t have picked on her own—yet, by exploring a new place through her children’s eyes and witnessing their excitement, she ended up having an amazing time. She has also had to think on her feet while traveling with her kids, learning to let go of control and focus on what truly matters. On certain trips, she left the books and toys behind, instead telling her kids stories about the people featured in the free airline magazine. When her son was young, she once placed a bag of potato chips inside his shoe; for 30 minutes, the sound of the crinkling wrapper kept him happily entertained.
No matter how creative parents are, these international experiences often come at a high cost. Intensive parenting is more feasible for extremely wealthy caregivers, but it may be particularly appealing to those with fewer financial resources—the ones concerned about their children’s economic futures, who desperately want to provide them with an advantage but lack the money or flexible work hours needed for travel. Many Americans, with or without children, are taking vacations they can’t truly afford: In March, Bankrate, a consumer financial-services company,surveyedOver 2,000 U.S. adults were surveyed, and 29 percent of those who responded indicated they planned to accumulate debt in order to travel this summer. When compared to other generations, Millennials showed the highest interest in traveling, the greatest likelihood of stating they couldn’t afford it, and the highest tendency to say they would be willing to go into debt for a vacation—which is likely to become even pricier with more children accompanying them.
Giving children the world doesn’t truly requireshowingthe world, though. Just being exposed to a different culture for a week each year won’t turn a child into someone who is empathetic, thoughtful, and open-minded—nor will visiting foreign museums and restaurants make them a cultured consumer. A parent might spend everything on flying their 4-year-old to a new city, only to discover the child prefers staying at the hotel and watching their iPad. When I spoke with Greenfield-Turk, he shared that one of his clients was traveling to France and Portugal. The main goal was to expose the children to new foods and traditions—but they were having trouble with the richness of the meals and the level of activity. They kept getting ill. Kids are kids, no matter where they go.
It’s not problematic to have challenging yet fulfilling vacations—except that parenting is consistently difficult and rewarding around the clock. At some stage, caregivers require genuine relaxation. Even Rousseau, when I inquired if she longs for a child-free, beachside drink getaway, responded without hesitation: “Every single day, yes.” The fact that leisure travel is frequently portrayed as a source of meaning, a route to cultural understanding, and an enlightening experience is both entirely valid and a reflection of the influence of productivity culture. It appears that nothing is immune to the pressure to self-improve, or the growing sense of guilt for being an imperfect parent and human being.
[The reasoning behind the ‘9 to 5’ schedule is beginning to influence the rest of the day.]
What children often enjoy the most about traveling can actually be experienced without traveling far. Parents can simply watch for what Weisberg referred to as “micro-adventures”: taking a bus to a free museum, driving two hours to visit a relative, or exploring the woods. Children do need new experiences—but when you’re just starting out in life, everything feels new. Once, Rousseau’s family faced a series of problems while trying to get from Amsterdam to Paris; they spent an entire day at the airport only to find out their flight had been canceled. However, as Rousseau and her husband were becoming upset, they realized their toddler was having an amazing time: going up and down the escalator, watching planes take off, and being amazed by how cool it is that people can fly in the sky.You have it right, she felt like saying to him.I am irritable. I have lost sight of the wonders of the world..
Rousseau shared this story with me to highlight the value of traveling as a family—how it removes everyone from their individual routines and minor annoyances, placing them together in the present. However, she ultimately made the contrary point: that the much-anticipated destination wasn’t necessary after all. Her child was filled with awe exactly where he was.
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