We recently asked the Muara Digital TeamCommunityTo share with us the hidden signals that a marriage may not endure. They uncovered the quiet indicators that individuals often overlook, suggesting a potential for divorce, and it’s truly enlightening. Here’s what they mentioned:
1.One partner is only willing to be with the other if they alter their behavior. You don’t have the right to demand that your partner change, and they are likely to feel resentful over time. If you are attracted to someone but believe they need significant behavioral changes for the relationship to succeed, it’s best to move on; they aren’t the right person for you.
—homeydaclown
2.When there are quiet laughs and giggles during a serious (intense) discussion, dismissing everything their partner is feeling as a ‘them’ issue. I witnessed this between my parents before they separated.
—ashira_b
3.When one party stops reacting to something that previously always caused a reaction. For instance, my husband’s ex-wife despised pornography. Then, on Christmas, she gave him a Playboy subscription. He mentioned it was the best gift she ever gave him. Broooo. She had already emotionally withdrawn from the marriage and was attempting to make him less likely to bother her with his needs. How long after that did she leave him? Six months.
If your partner no longer cares about issues that previously troubled them greatly?It’s not an indication that they have ultimately embraced this situation; it’s a sign that they have finally come to terms with its conclusion.“
—homeywizard688
4.If they don’t have a similar approach to managing finances. One person tends to spend excessively, while the other is very frugal. They don’t have shared bank accounts or divide expenses based on their individual incomes. I witnessed this situation with my granddaughter after she had been married for a year. They didn’t seek premarital counseling and never discussed financial matters beforehand.
—Anonymous, 65, Texas
5.Persistent joking around. Most couples engage in some playful teasing, but those with healthy relationships balance it with praise, showing kindness, or speaking well of their partner to others. Those who use teasing to make their partner feel embarrassed or humiliated in public are often involved in a divorce that seems unexpected.
—Anonymous, 34, Virginia
Mocking or dominating their partner in front of others. It’s one thing to tease and joke with your partner in a group occasionally, butWhen you openly show disrespect and talk negatively about them in front of others, it’s a major warning sign.It suggests that if they are comfortable treating their partner that way in public, there’s likely a lot more happening behind the scenes. I’ve observed that such couples often end up getting divorced eventually.
—minibubble32237
6.When they opt to share their thoughts with their mother, father, sister, brother, or friend regularly instead of their partner.
—Anonymous
7.My closest friend (a woman) married after dating for six months. I was invited to join a double date with them and his sister (she’s looking for a partner, and I’m single). My best friend and her husband didn’t say a single word to each other during the meal. Not one word. The plan was to be driven home so we could enjoy the wine experience at dinner. We got into the limo, and they didn’t speak to each other the entire way home. My “date” and I had more conversation on the way to the bathroom than they did all night. When we returned from the bathroom, they were both on their phones.
Six months later, they initiated the divorce process. I inquired about the reason.We had very little in common anymore, and we didn’t communicate much. Like…derp! “
—Anonymous, 42, California
“Not having any common hobbies, interests, or sporting events to attend togetherand solely maintaining a ‘at-home’ relationship.”
—Anonymous
8.If your partner demonstrates minimal or no interest in your friends, and only finds value in meeting or spending time with their own friends, it indicates they don’t appreciate your other relationships.
—stephaniep461d11578
9.Smashing a cake in your partner’s face during the wedding. Not amusing. Not creative and very awkward. And if it happens when one of the couple isn’t into it? That marriage might not even last a year.
—Anonymous, 47, USA
I can’t claim it’s an indication of a divorce, but I’ve always thought smashing the cake on your partner’s face was overly aggressive and isa signal that you truly do not hold the other person in the manner a spouse ought to“
—ladicair
10.I’ve observed that several people I went to school with or were friends with got married due to pregnancy. I’ve been married for 15 years (the same age as most of my classmates; many of us married right after high school), and numerous of my high school classmates or friends who tied the knot because they became pregnant are now divorced and have remarried.
Or, they married because one of them enlisted in the military, and it’s essentially the same situation —99% of them are separated.“
—quirkyraptor53
11.One of them is constantly requesting, or even pleading, to engage in activities without their partner. Although spending time apart from your spouse can be beneficial and helps you long for and value your partner, if the primary purpose of these activities is to exclude them, it usually indicates that things are already deteriorating.
—Anonymous, 64, Nebraska
12.Therapist here; when people can’t hear one another. I mean trulylistening— when individuals are so focused on fighting with one another that they overlook the cause of their conflict, fail to solve issues, and neglect resolving them. You must truly (on a deep, relational level) listen to what each person is saying in order to accomplish all of this.
“Also, if one or both individuals harbor nothing but disdain for each other. Total relationship killer!”
—Anonymous, 44, Canada
13.One of them attempts to gather input from others to support their position during a disagreement, rather than focusing on listening to their partner and addressing the conflict or seeking professional help. Reddit and ChatGPT cannot rescue a relationship that requires assistance; in fact, it might do the opposite.
—fka_bigdingo
14.Making subtle, hostile remarks about their romantic relationship in public. I had a couple as friends, and the husband would get intoxicated and loudly discuss with anyone nearby (so his wife could hear) how they weren’t having enough intimacy — rather than addressing the issue directly with his wife.
—Anonymous
15.When you simply don’t have the energy to fight anymore.
—Anonymous, 54, Georgia
16.When they ignore each other or roll their eyes at their partner in front of others—especially if they have a child and behave this way. I witnessed this with my cousin; he and his wife dislike each other but won’t divorce because of religious beliefs.
—Anonymous, 23, Colorado
And finally…
17.If a couple doesn’t smile and hardly makes eye contact during their wedding ceremony. I attended a wedding where this occurred, which was very uncomfortable to see; they didn’t seem happy at all. It’s no surprise they ended up getting divorced after roughly seven years.
—Anonymous, 40, Cananda
Note: Some answers have been shortened for length and/or clarity.
